Recently, a former student offered to help find an essence to support me through a challenging transition. I accepted. She told me as I walked in the door that she'd received a very clear intuitive "hit" that I needed to take Pacific Essences' Jellyfish, a feeling she'd confirmed using a pendulum. I re-read the description, and it made sense. We made up the essence, and I went on my merry way.

Driving home, I realized I was feeling some need in me wasn't satisfied by the encounter, despite confidence that the essence was a good one. Something was missing: it was as if we'd arrived at the destination without taking the journey. She'd intuitively "gotten" the right essence, but she hadn't gotten to the essence of what was troubling me.

Over seven years of essence practice, I've come to feel that this process of arriving at the right essence is almost as important as the essence itself. Why? The greater rapport you have with a client, the more they feel they've been truly heard, the more faith they place in you and the essence you choose. Also, if your interview can shift the conversation from the surface of a problem to its core, you have a far greater chance of selecting a transformative essence.

For example, being tired or stressed are the two most common presenting issues in my practice. If you peel back "tired" and ask your client to take a look underneath, you will almost certainly find something else--perhaps avoidance or resistance. And underneath that is an infinite range of possible feelings and signals of which essence is the best fit. We may intuitively sense the core issue, but it has an entirely different impact when clients arrive at that awareness themselves. That arrival signals a readiness for healing.

My perspective on essence selection is simply this: focus on the person, not the essence. There is a real difference between listening to and listening for. Clients can feel it. When you listen for keywords for a particular essence ("They said 'overwhelm', they must need Elm"), part of your attention is not with your client. You switch from curiosity about your client to curiosity about essences, and the client leaves your office feeling that they were not fully heard.

This is part of my resistance to the exclusive use of a pendulum or muscle testing for essence selection. They are valuable tools, and I use both in my practice. But as a client, I am often unsatisfied when a remedy is selected only by these methods or intuitively. I sometimes feel I wasn't part of the process and have little commitment to the essence I am given.

Accurate information does not necessarily make the difference between an essence which has a genuinely healing effect, and one which does not. The difference is in the relationship between practitioner and client.

When I feel my practitioner has really listened, heard what was going on and the changes I am committed to making, I experience the essence as an ally, not a magic bullet. I know that the power to create change resides with me, not with the essence. The whole process becomes truly empowering.

So how is a successful essence interview conducted? There is no formula any more than there is a formula for creating good relationships. But there are several crucial skills:

CURIOSITY: Your curiosity creates space for the client to explore, discover and learn. Whenever you think you know the answer, put it aside, and get really curious. Clients are amazingly resourceful and go places you would never have thought to take them.

OPEN LISTENING: This means paying attention to the energy in the room, the quality of someone's voice, your own and your client's emotional shifts, body sensations. If the client is bored or getting into their head, perhaps lost in telling you a story, it's time to shift direction and try something else.

NON-ATTACHMENT: If you think you know the answer, it's as if you create a tunnel for your client to stumble along, not a space for them to explore. When you are attached to an outcome, your client can easily feel pushed or coerced. Let them find their own way, even if they end up in a place you wouldn't have gone on your own. Let your clients teach you.

KEEPING OUT OF YOUR HEAD: Analyzing, interpreting, and attempting to understand may not be especially helpful. Understanding happens in the head; knowing happens in the heart and in the body. Knowing generates action and commitment, where understanding does not.

The purpose of the session is to have the client arrive at the core issue and make a choice to heal in that area. Only once this is accomplished will the essence work to its full potential. How do you know if a client has reached the core issue? There are several signals.

There's a palpable change in the energy of the room. The pace of the conversation slows down, becomes more inward, quieter. You, the practitioner, will sense a shift in your body: for me, there is a clarity, relaxation and feeling of lightness, even if the client is in a dark or painful place. It's as if the tension releases once you reach the core.

The client may become emotional--often there are tears, sometimes laughter. Either way, the client is no longer talking about the experience as if observing it from the outside. They shift from analysis to experience. Finally, there is a sense that you and your client begin to resonate at the same frequency. It's a marvelous feeling, one I treasure.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Paul Wyman is a second generation flower essence practitioner, who also practices massage therapy and personal coaching in Denver, Colorado. Paul offers free sample telephone sessions in this style of "flower essence coaching" to anyone interested in getting a first hand experience of the way this type of interview is conducted. He also offers individual training and supervision for flower essence practitioners. Call Paul at (720) 359-1360 for more details, or email him.

DESIGN CREDIT: The background set is part of a beautiful collection of Native American art and jewelry by Silverhawk, also available on CD-ROM.

The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.

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