©2001 by Donna Cunningham, MSW
 Mountain climbers amaze me. How do those hardy--and sometimes foolhardy--folks
who succeed in climbing a mountain ever make it back down to the base?
The urge to reach the top can impel you forward so powerfully that you
do make it despite serious hardship.
But what happens when you finally
get to the peak and there are still at least as many perils and pitfalls
ahead before you can rest? You are really only halfway, for you still face
the difficult and dangerous task of getting back down the mountain
safely before you can claim success and you are already tired.
Material or creative success carries a similar set of
difficulties--getting there is only half the battle. People who
reach this kind of career pinnacle face a dual strain. They feel
pressured to keep performing at high levels, and they have to withstand
the laser light of public scrutiny.
All too many resort to self-sabotage
rather than place themselves in this demanding position. Working
with exceptionally gifted people in New York City, I often watched
them undermine themselves. They made incredibly bad judgement calls,
created health challenges, or managed to do the one thing guaranteed to
alienate The Powers That Be.
Even among people who have watched enough Oprah or read enough
self-help books to discuss the fear of success articulately, the
unconscious pull can be quite potent. This is true in part because
the fear of success has many parts and layers. Let's look at
some of those components and at flower remedies that help
untangle the knot of fear-based self-sabotage.
Performance Anxiety
Along with success comes a great deal of pressure--the pressure of
having to live up to past achievements and even to continually top them.
Performing at a top level where others expect so much of you and where
you demand a winning effort every time can create painful anxiety
that causes some to opt out of the fast track.
Fortunately, there are
remedies to support you at such peak times. As a therapist and essence
practitioner in the creatively-demanding crucible of New York,
I often encouraged actors or musicians who were auditioning
to take along Rock Rose by Bach. They reported it calmed
them down so they could do their best. People taking final
exams or certification tests also used
Rock Rose successfully to stop their panic.
Where
nervousness about appearing in front of a crowd is part of the
difficulty, Golden Yarrow by the Flower Essence Society (FES) can
provide an energetic shield. (See the Yarrow profile in our September, 1999 issue.)
Perfectionism contributes greatly to performance anxiety. On the
other hand, exceptional work demands some of the elements of
perfectionism--the drive for self-mastery, a good critical eye, and
the capacity to persevere until a thing is done right. The ideal
essence, then, would be one that supported self-acceptance and
patience with the learning curve without blunting the edge a
successful person needs.
Bach's Rock Water can help maintain that fine balance.
Beech, another Bach remedy, teaches tolerance to those who are
overly-critical of themselves and others.
Fear of Being A Target
 Sometimes we fear--for very real reasons having to do with our
histories--that if we stand out, we will become targets of others' ill will.
Some of us learned this at home, where we were accused of showing off
if we were too exuberant and lively in pursing our gifts and interests.
When we tried earnestly to express our gifts and perfect our abilities,
we may have been reprimanded by a competitive parent or ridiculed
by a jealous sibling.
When an already-existing sense of rejection
by a parent makes us fearful that success will create further
alienation from family, a remedy to consider is FES' Evening Primrose.
Some of us had plenty of love and encouragement at home yet ran into
trouble when we excelled at school. Especially if we did it too
consistently, peers let us know, in both subtle and in-your-face ways,
that they did not welcome our achievements. Our high performance level
increased their difficulty in getting by on little effort, for we
raised the curve. FES' Goldenrod helps us cope with
peer pressure by strengthening our sense of self.
(See a profile in the May, 2001 issue)
The pressure to blend in
rather than to be outstanding may also be felt in the workplace and in organizations or peer groups related
to the vocation. The front runner can be an easy target for sabotage
and ill wishes from competitive coworkers. Oregon Grape by FES is a
prime remedy for "social paranoia," including the fear of becoming a target.
Fear of Abandonment
The fear of abandonment is a common barrier to success for the
upwardly mobile--especially young people coming from poverty with the
brains, talent, or looks to surpass their modest origins. Tragically,
many sabotage their own progress in order not to feel the isolation or
sense of estrangement from family their success might entail.
Mariposa Lily by FES can help them with this sad feeling of alienation
from their roots. The Bach remedy Honeysuckle can also be a balm for
a lingering homesickness or nostalgia for what has been left behind.
Often intertwined with this sense of loss is the survivor's guilt
a person may experience who has done well while beloved family members
have suffered from hardship. Adding Bach's Pine to a remedy mixture can counteract
the less rational components of such guilt.
Overcoming Fear so You Can Succeed
I would never claim that remedies alone can conquer serious self-sabotage
or crippling anxiety, for professional help may be needed in such cases.
Still, I was impressed with how much the remedies helped my gifted
clients cope with the pressures and anxieties inherent in
making it in New York.
In this article, we have looked at only a few
of the possible fears that get in the way. If fear is impeding
your progress, find a quiet time, get out a notepad, and write a questions and answers
dialogue with your inner self to identify your own stumbling blocks. Once they have
been identified, try Vibration's search engine to find remedies
to support you in overcoming them.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Donna Cunningham, one of the editors of Vibration,
has been working with the essences since 1981. For more information and how to contact her, see her Frequent Contributor Page
ART CREDITS: The mountain photos are from
Expert Software and
Micrografx.
The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.
  
| 
