Helping Teens Form Healthy Relationships
©2001 by Ouapiti Robintree
Editor's Note: This article is the second
of two on essences for teens by Ouapiti Robintree,
maker of Hummingbird Remedies. Two of the major tasks
of adolescence are forming an identity, which the
first article of the series addressed, and forming
successful relationships with others, the topic of
this article.
SORTING OUT FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
Probably every parent has felt the brunt of their
teen's rejection. Still, teens don't develop in a
vacuum; annoying behaviors and attitudes may be
expressions learned in family systems. Teens are
beginning to exert their power to complain and change
things. Rather than making their difficult outbursts
and behaviors "disappear," I advocate a more conscious
choice to grow together as a family by seriously
considering the needs and complaints of your teens.
They may be making a valid point, veiled among
their protestations and outbursts. It behooves us as
thoughtful individuals to examine the underlying
issues they bring up. As we consider the relative
emotional health and maturity of each teen, we may
also choose to reevaluate our roles as parents.
Instead of only being caretakers and protectors,
maybe we should form a family partnership that
includes a place to hear what teens are saying.
Sorting out family relationships so often means
all members of the family require some healing.
Hummingbird Remedies offers a Parents' Kit to
assist more wholesome family dynamics, and another
kit for Children & Teens. Other essence makers'
offerings can complement the essences in these kits.
Remedies listed here are for normal family issues.
In severe cases of neglect, abuse, or other serious
problems, other remedies are recommended; contact
me via e-mail for more information.
ALOE SAPONARIA by Hummingbird Remedies eases
interpersonal stress, frustration from poor
communication. Soothes irritability, discontent with
self or others. It lends increased forbearance to endure people
and situations.
HIERBA DE LA PASTORA by Hummingbird Remedies helps
release soul scars of imperfect, conditional love;
melts barriers to giving and receiving love abundantly.
In abuse, abandonment, loneliness, neglect, helps release
old grudges, allows healing and new growth.
JACOB'S LADDER by Hummingbird stimulates familial
harmony by activating honest concern for others'
welfare; useful for sibling rivalry.
'SUBCONSCIOUS RELEASE' from Canadian Forest
Essences helps bring information from the subconscious
mind to surface, enhancing one's awareness.
CALENDULA by FES (Flower Essence Society) brings
warmth, healing, and receptivity in listening to the
inner meaning of the words of others.
TEENS AND THEIR FRIENDS
Life is too short to have bad friends. We all
need to learn to value our friends as well as ourselves;
this is another whole article in itself! To assist
your children in finding and keeping good friendships,
consider these remedies.
CALYPSO ORCHID by Hummingbird stimulates bonding,
friendship, and harmony among friends. Opens the heart
to kindness.
GLOBE AMARANTH by Hummingbird encourages commonality
of viewpoint in the interest of love and harmony.
OREGON GRAPE by FES eases the fear of emotional
hostility from others; for social paranoia and the
incorrect perception of other's motives or intentions;
helps develop trust and acknowledgment of the
goodwill of others.
MATURITY IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
Most of what young people learn about relationships
comes from their families and peers. If parents model
healthy relationships, teens will likely absorb these
and attempt to replicate them in their own lives.
Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. If a child
has witnessed constantly inappropriate, disrespectful
behavior between her parents or other adults, she may
assume this is "normal," and unconsciously choose
romantic partners that fulfill her expectations.
To short-circuit this learned behavior, our first
priority as parents must be to heal our own marital and sexual dynamics. Therefore, any of the essences
below would be appropriate for both parents and
teens to use.
BASIL by FES helps in integrating sexuality and
spirituality; for conflicts in relationships about
sexual and emotional issues.
BLACK COHOSH by FES imparts the courage to confront
and transform negative relationships.
CALLA LILY by FES supports sexual self-acceptance.
Helps resolve confusion or ambivalence about sexual
identity or gender.
MEXICAN CREEPER by Hummingbird stimulates healthy
expression of loving interest in others. Helps develop
the capacity for harmony and unison with romantic partners.
PINK WOOD SORREL from Canadian Forest Essences
facilitates developing relationships and intimacy
skills, creates love and respect towards the partner
and self.
RED FLAX by Hummingbird strengthens the capacity
to take responsibility for actions and attitudes in
deep relationships and to make a commitment to all
aspects of romance and partnership.
 Editors' Note: Ouapiti Robintree's insightful
first article in this series, Flower Essence Work
with Adolescents, appeared in our September, 2000
issue, along with a panel discussion on how
to introduce teens to the use of essences.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ouapiti Robintree, founder of Hummingbird Remedies:
New Flower Essences for Transformation and Healing, travels and teaches
workshops on all aspects of vibrational remedies.
She is actively engaged
in pioneering and research of new essences, and is available by mail and
e-mail for private essence consultations. Information on Hummingbird
Research Remedies, and further information regarding parent/child and
substance-abuse issues, can be obtained by contacting the author
by email. Hummingbird Remedies can be found through the Flower Essence Pharmacy.
ART CREDITS: The graphics for this article were made
from photos in a clip art disk by Micrografx.
The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.
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